Bee My Honey - Just Don't Call On The Cell Phone

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Stogie at Ybor City Stogie has rightly reminded me that I have been reticent investing enough effort into my non-profitable distraction of blogging on current events. Thus, I am obligated to take a few moments from carousing, watching Jon Stewart and Steven Colbert, pretending to work, and hunting for the elusive woman of my dreams before I die in order to bring you this shocking scientific hypothesis which has the potential to negatively affect every living thing on the planet.

Yes, it's time to again address those pesky cell phones - the modern technical era scourge of humanity that vexatiously interrupts dinner dates, contributes to untold automobile traffic accidents, inflicts brain cancer, and apparently disrupts the lifestyles of the major pollinators of our food crops. It's not bad enough that one can hardly maintain a personal conversation with another human being without being interrupted by ring tones vaguely resembling a bastardized version of Evanescence or being run down on the freeway by some dizzy blond trophy wife weaving in and out of traffic in her three ton SUV while arguing with her office bound meal-ticket, but now they are suspected of causing Colony Collapse Disorder within bee hives worldwide through their ubiquitous emissions of electromagnetic radiation.

Need I remind anyone that should this prove to be an accurate explanation for the disappearance of millions of bees in this country, primarily occurring on the more densely populated East and West coasts, the impact goes far beyond the more obvious financial losses of an overzealous, highly profitable, yet seemingly pointless communications industry. This could well effect food production worldwide, resulting in the deaths of millions. For countries who depend on agriculture for their already meager existence, this would result in total chaos. While corn and wheat are wind pollinated and would remain unaffected in the beginning, they are lacking in nutritional value and are hardly a suitable staple sans fresh vegetable and fruit supplements. Worldwide afflictions of scurvy anyone?

Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) occurs when a hive's inhabitants suddenly disappear, leaving only queens, eggs and a few immature workers, like so many apian Mary Celestes. The vanished bees are never found, but thought to die singly far from home. The parasites, wildlife and other bees that normally raid the honey and pollen left behind when a colony dies, refuse to go anywhere near the abandoned hives.

The alarm was first sounded last autumn, but has now hit half of all American states. The West Coast is thought to have lost 60 per cent of its commercial bee population, with 70 per cent missing on the East Coast.

CCD has since spread to Germany, Switzerland, Spain, Portugal, Italy and Greece. And last week John Chapple, one of London's biggest bee-keepers, announced that 23 of his 40 hives have been abruptly abandoned.

Are Mobile Phones Wiping Out Our Bees? - The Independent UK